Got Out of the Boat….The Shore is in Sight

In September 2011, I wrote my first newsletter about the beginning of my journey to Spain.  (If you would like to read it, I re-posted it to this blog a day or so ago.)

And what a journey it has been!

Photo by Bernhard Geier

Since writing it over a year ago, I:
1. Moved out of my apartment of 8 years.
2. Moved in with an amazing family (went from 0 roommates to 6….8 if you include the dogs).
3. Completed all of my training with International Teams.
4. Quit my job of 11 years, as a Commission Analyst with Quantum Corp.
5. Sold, gave away, or packed the rest of my stuff and moved it in to my mom’s garage.
6. Spent the last 5 months gathering partners for Team Spain.

As you can see, a lot has happened over the last year and a half, and now I am starting to see the shoreline.

Last weekend my dad made his (second) day trip to Washington to move myself and the rest of my stuff to Portland.  I am now staying with him and my step-mom (Kay) in their spare bedroom, and preparing the final details for a February departure.

God is moving in miraculous ways, and the support has really been coming in!  I am at about 85%, and am starting to look at shipping companies to send my stuff over to Spain.  Containers, crates, pallets, is the wood treated for international shipping? (what?), should I just get a bunch of really big plastic tubs?  I never knew there was so much to think about to ship my stuff overseas.  Basically, I really need to pack and get organized!  Again.

I am still talking to people, and am even sharing the Pilgrim House ministry with a church group in Seattle in a week or so.  I am close, but not yet there, so I will keep on moving forward.

It all feels a little surreal.  This is REALLY happening!  So much of what needs to be done is running through my head, it is almost paralyzing.

But as I turn to Father God and seek His council, I know that He will calm my racing mind and gently guide me to what needs to be done.

Psalm 121
I lift up my eyes to the hills.
    From where does my help come?
 My help comes from the Lord,
    who made heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot be moved;
    he who keeps you will not slumber.
 Behold, he who keeps Israel
    will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The Lord is your keeper;
    the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
 The sun shall not strike you by day,
    nor the moon by night.

 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
    he will keep your life.
 The Lord will keep
    your going out and your coming in
    from this time forth and forevermore.

Getting Out of the Boat

I wrote this over a year ago, when I was first starting out on this journey to Spain.  It was my first newsletter that I sent using MailChimp.  I am re-posting it here, mostly because I am going to refer to it in the next blog post, and I didn’t want anyone to get left behind.

Hello Friends! Welcome to the kickoff of my newsletter via the ridiculously
cool “MailChimp”. These newsletters are intended to keep you up to date on
what is going on with me and my journey to Spain. This letter is meant to be
an introduction. If ever you decide you don’t want to receive these
newsletter updates, you can easily unsubscribe and you’ll be taken off the
list. Otherwise, I’ll keep you on and you’ll get to hear about what is going
on with me. Ready?

When I was in the process of figuring out if I was going to go in to
missions, I listened to a few songs to help encourage me. One of those songs
was “Walk on the Water” by Britt Nicole. It spoke loudest to me during that
time, and it still does today. Many of you may have been part of that
process, or you may have received a previous email from me, so you know that
I am now on that journey to the mission field. For those who haven’t, I have
been accepted by International Teams (ITeams) to go work with a couple in
Santiago de Compostela, Spain who want to start a Welcome Center/Hostel for
the pilgrims who walk “The Camino”.

Some may think that I have already gotten out of the boat when I applied to
ITeams and went to training, and in a sense, yes that was. But, for me, the
real jump off point, is heading in to this next year. The fundraising, the
Visa process, “downsizing” from my apartment to save money, etc. So right
now, I am sitting on the edge of the boat looking at the water below. I know
God has called me to serve in Spain. I know He will provide. But I still
have to get out of the boat. I don’t know how far away Jesus was from Peter
when Peter got to walk on water, but for me Jesus seems like a small dot on
the horizon. I know he is there, but it’s a long way to walk! What if I’m
overtaken by the waves of doubt? What if I don’t make it? When I call for
support, what if no one is there?

If you know Peter’s story, you know that he got out, and he walked on the
water. And when the wind came, and he doubted and began to sink; he cried
out for Jesus to save him. Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand to save
him. Immediately.

I know Jesus isn’t on the horizon. He is next to me on the boat telling me,
“What are you waiting for? What do you have to lose? You know you were made
for more, so don’t be afraid to move. Your faith is all it takes, and you
can walk on the water too.”

So here I go….I take a deep breath…..and jump.

Christmas Candle Advent

There are different ways people have done this candle advent, but I personally like the structure below.  Our family would light a candle and then read the corresponding text, until all 5 candles were lit.  Then we would sing a few stanzas of the carol, Silent Night.  I have heard that others light each candle in the weeks leading up to Christmas day, with the 5th (red) candle being lit on the 25th.  I say, to each their own.

I hope you enjoy it!  Merry Christmas!!

They will pass through the land,greatly distressed and hungry. And when they are hungry, they will be enraged and will speak contemptuously against their king and their God, and turn their faces upward. And they will look to the earth, but behold, distress and darkness, the gloom of anguish. And they will be thrust into thick darkness.
Isaiah 8:21-22

Blue Candle – Prophets
Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel. – Isaiah 7:14

But you, O Bethlehem Ephrathah, who are too little to be among the clans of Judah, from you shall come forth for me one who is to be ruler in Israel, whose coming forth is from of old, from ancient days.Therefore he shall give them up until the time when she who is in labor has given birth; then the rest of his brothers shall return to the people of Israel. And he shall stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they shall dwell secure, for now he shall be great to the ends of the earth.And he shall be their peace. – Micah 5:2-5a

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be uponhis shoulder, and his name shall be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the Lord of hosts will do this. – Isaiah 9:6-7

“I am the Lord; I have called youin righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness.” – Isaiah 42:6-7

White Candle – Angels
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”

And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”

And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be bornwill be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God.” And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servantof the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. – Luke 1:26-38

Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:

 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
    and they shall call his name Immanuel” (which means, God with us).

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus. – Matthew 1:18-25

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

 “Glory to God in the highest,
  and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!” – Luke 2:8-14

Green Candle – Shepherds
When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherds told them. But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them. – Luke 2:15-20

Gold Candle – Wisemen
Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise menfrom the east came to Jerusalem, saying, “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it roseand have come to worship him.” When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled, and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea, for so it is written by the prophet:

“‘And you, O Bethlehem, in the land of Judah,
are by no means least among the rulers of Judah;
for from you shall come a ruler
who will shepherd my people Israel.’”

Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when you have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him.” After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. And going into the house they saw the child with Mary his mother, and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts, gold and frankincense and myrrh. And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way. – Matthew 2:1-12

Red Candle – Jesus Christ
And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth. (John bore witness about him, and cried out, “This was he of whom I said, ‘He who comes after me ranks before me, because he was before me.’”) For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ. – John 1:14-17

For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
John 3:16-17

Light of the World
The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shone. – Isaiah 9:2

The true light, which gives light to everyone, was coming into the world. He was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him. He came to his own,and his own peopledid not receive him. But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God. – John 1:9-13

Again Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” – John 8:12

This is the message we have heard from him and proclaim to you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.
1 John 1:5-7

For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servantsfor Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. – 2 Corinthians 4:5-6

You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so thatthey may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16

What happened to Christmas traditions? Oh, that’s right, I grew up.

For some reason, this year I have been more contemplative about Christmas traditions than I have been in the past.  Maybe it is because I am moving to Spain soon, and will spend the next holiday season away from family.

I wondered about Spanish Christmas traditions and what they might look like, and then I thought, “But what do my traditions look like today?  What do I do? What have I done?”

This then got me thinking about all of the different traditions I do currently or used to do over the course of my life.  Those that I could remember anyway.

Here are some that I miss.

• Caroling. In high school, some girlfriends and I would gather at a friends house and go around the neighborhood caroling to those who would listen.  We actually weren’t too bad considering the majority of the girls were in the high school choir and could carry a tune.  Which was good in my case since I was not in the choir.  We would go up to a house that had lights on and looked inhabited, ring the doorbell, and when they answered we would ask if we could sing them some carols.  After a few carols, we would wish them a Merry Christmas, and be on our way.  Hopeful that we had brightened their evening just a little.
• Going out to see Christmas lights.  In Portland, there was the famous Peacock Lane.  Each year this neighborhood would light up the dark with their tacky, classy, and just plain fun decorations.  It was crazy to drive down the street. You were trapped in the car and in the spot you were in until the car in front of you moved.  It was a much better option to walk.  Although cold, you could see the lights better, and it was a great excuse to get some hot cocoa.  Apparently, there is a place similar here in Seattle called “Candy Cane Lane”.  How did I not know this? (Ailsa, a fellow blogger, also wrote another festive post about the Seattle Gingerbread Village.  I have lived in Seattle for some 15 odd years.  Why did I not know about these places?)
• Family gatherings.  (Note to the family: please do not be offended or read more in to this than me expressing some sentiment.  Please no upset emails.)  When I was younger, our extended family would get together for at least one of the big two holidays, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Unfortunately, I was young and self-centered and unappreciative of spending time with the family.  Today, I am old enough to realize I have a great extended family.  I like them a lot.  I really do.  But because of Christmas Eve services to run, spouses and their family obligations, and well….growing up, we just don’t gather like we used to.  We did make a point to gather a few years ago when our Georgia cousins were in town.  We had a blast and played a hilarious game of “Carol Charades” my two cousins, Andy and Katie made up.  Ever try to act out, “don we now our gay apparel”?
• Candle Advent.  This one hasn’t ever really gone away (thanks, mom), but sometimes we do it and sometimes we don’t.  Maybe it is because Christmas traditions are on my mind or maybe it is because the meaning of Christmas is more poignant for me this year, but performing this simple tradition seems important.  In fact, our home group did it at our gathering on Sunday.  There is something about lighting a candle and reading the story of Jesus’ birth, that calms and re-focus’ the hectic atmosphere this time of year can bring.

Those are a few of the traditions that I find myself reminiscing about. The busyness of life, being single, and not being very good about getting out there have caused most of these traditions to fade out.

Not all is lost though.  There are some new traditions that have developed over the years.

• Christmas Day movie.  This started when the LOTR movies came out, and with just my mom and I.  We decided to keep it going after the third movie, and a chance encounter (coming out of the same theater) with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin a few years ago, prompted us to combine forces.  I love this tradition.  And it is just like adults table vs. kids table.  My mom, her sister, and her sister’s husband sit together and chat. While my cousin Andy, my sister, and I sit together.  We commiserate and laugh to the point of tears, trying to squelch giggles throughout the movie.
• Watching Muppet Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve.  I can’t really pinpoint when this started, I think it was on TV and we would just watch it until we decided to get our own video.  It is such a great movie.  Hilarious and touching and ridiculous, all at the same time.  Gonzo and his rat buddy, Rizzo, are the BEST narrators.  I have yet to tire of this movie.  I mean c’mon….it’s the muppets!

With all of this thinking on tradition, I can’t help but wonder what next Christmas will look like when I am in Spain.  What new traditions will I start?  What old one’s will I carry over?  And who will I get to share them with?

Although some traditions died as collateral damage from growing up, I realize the good news is that it is never too late to resurrect an old one or birth a new one.

So, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Feliz Navidad to all, and to all a good night!

Short Sermons and Long Walks

Photo taken by Andrew Nicodem.

Andrew (Drew) Nicodem and his friend, Ryan Gilles are photographers and journalists with International Teams who are spending 15 months serving around the globe with some of the many ministries of International Teams and documenting their experiences on the blog “Naming the World”.  In September/October, Drew and Ryan visited Spain and stayed with my team leaders (Nate & Faith Walter) to hear about the Pilgrim House and to walk the Camino.  Below is what Ryan wrote about his experience on the Camino for their blog. 

(Photographs and content used with permission.)

 

 

“You’re not religious, are you?”

Michelle’s question took me a bit off guard as we walked together along the dew-drenched stretch of the Camino de Santiago that morning. One step after another, my feet moved onward down the road as my thoughts tumbled and tripped over one another.

“Well, I guess that depends on how you define religious,” I finally said, sounding far more hesitant than I would have liked. “I mean, I believe in what the Bible says about Jesus and that He died to save us. So if that makes me religious then I guess I am.”

Michelle nodded quietly as we continued to walk. I could almost hear my own feeble and tin-like words clattering on the ground around us. They felt hollow somehow and I desperately wanted to give them strength with a rush of more words.

But after a few days of hiking the Camino with other pilgrims, I had learned something I hope to never forget.

Most people don’t need a sermon.

Pilgrim statue along Camino. Photo taken by Andrew Nicodem.

They say The Way can be divided into three stages:

The physical stage, where one scales the Pyrenees Mountains on the eastern side of Spain, the mental stage in which pilgrims battle the never-ending monotony of flat fields and town-less roads, and finally,the spiritual stage where the rolling green hills of Galicia welcome reflection.

During that last stage especially, it is remarkable how quickly questions of belief, meaning, and faith bubble to the surface as pilgrims share their hearts while enduring the same sore feet, bruised bones, and bug bites.

I spent one such afternoon with a friend named Amy who didn’t necessarily agree with my view of Jesus, though she was a gracious listener. When I asked her why, she told me it was because of interactions with Christians and the church in her past that left her disenchanted and distrusting.

And Amy wasn’t the only one.

Photo taken by Andrew Nicodem.

Time after time, I heard the same narrative from other pilgrims who were tired of the Church and the bigotry they felt it peddled.

I remembered each of their words on the morning Michelle asked me if I was religious. I wondered how many had been merely preached at, scolded, or fed cheap, scripted lines about love and joy in the face of calamity. I wondered if the Church didn’t make them feel like projects more than people. I wondered why so many felt that way about Christians and if I wasn’t part of the problem myself.

So I kept my mouth shut that morning.

I decided to listen first, at times offer bits of what I believe, and simply enjoy swapping hearts with the human being next to me.

Because I think there are plenty of people on this earth who have a sermon to preach. And at times they are sincerely needed.

But perhaps what people need most is someone to share the trail with in this life. Someone who joyfully takes each painful step alongside his or her neighbors. And when asked why, they won’t give a sermon, they’ll just say it’s because they believe someone named Jesus already did the same for them.

Photo taken by Andrew Nicodem.

Before we knew it, two hours had passed for Michelle and me and our blisters were worlds away. Earlier that morning, Michelle had limped some 7 km through tear-blurred eyes as her hiking boots tore deep scars into the back of her feet. But now her steps looked more like bounds.

“I haven’t even thought of my feet for the past two hours,” she said with a grin. “You must be my Camino angel.”

-Ryan

Weekly Photo Challenge: Reflections

Clouds reflected on the beach.

Leaf reflected on water.

 

City of Chicago reflection off of the “The Bean”

Yeah, yeah, I know someone else already did pictures of the Chicago “Bean”, but I like it ok?  And it is a slightly different angle.

Camino Angels and the Real World

Camino de Santiago. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

Andrew (Drew) Nicodem and his friend, Ryan Gilles are photographers and journalists with International Teams who are spending 15 months serving around the globe with some of the many ministries of International Teams and documenting their experiences on the blog “Naming the World”.  In September/October, Drew and Ryan visited Spain and stayed with my team leaders (Nate & Faith Walter) to hear about the Pilgrim House and to walk the Camino.  Below is what Drew wrote about his experience on the Camino for their blog. 

(Photographs and content used with permission.)

 

 

“Why doesn’t this happen in the real world?”

I have to be honest, every time I hear someone say that I get this snarky urge to ask them what world they’re currently living in if not the real one and then go on this soapbox rant about how people these days spend all their time complaining that life isn’t shiny like their dreams of how it ought to be are, all the while doing nothing to actually better it and thus making the proverbial fence a few feet higher and the proverbial grass a few shades greener on the other side. (See, I may have actually gone ahead and ranted anyways).

But there is a strong point to be made for the Camino not being real life.

And so when I heard Michelle ask that question over group dinner on our third-to-last night from the end of the Camino, I didn’t soapbox.

Because I absolutely agreed.

Everyone did, over and over and over. And I think they had a good case.

Why doesn’t the type of community that I found in 8 days of backpacking across northern Spain as a pilgrim on the Camino happen in this so-called real life?

Pilgrims sharing a meal. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

When our knees can’t take another downhill and we’re still three days from the destination, why aren’t people as nonchalant about graciously giving up their personal walking sticks for those few days as they are on the road?

When we spend the first ten minutes of every night anxiously checking our bunks for bedbugs, why are we not as quick to offer around our precious supply of repellent to fellow travelers so everyone can sleep in peace?

When the rest of life’s pilgrims walking with us are so quick to spill their fears and failures and deepest misgivings, why are we not as quick to listen and only listen? And when they laugh and celebrate and live in joy, why are we not the most thankful and most joyful among them?

When our bandaged feet are blistered and bruised and it is the first hour out of five in our day’s walk, why aren’t there more people that come alongside and just talk with us, helping to forget the throbbing until the next thing we know it is all over and rest is in sight?

Because that’s the everyday life on the Camino.

Pilgrims on the Camino. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

Michelle always called those people her “Camino Angels” which I always thought was silly until I started thinking about it (and until I was the one whose knees refused to bend on the downhills and Tim gave me his walking sticks).

Life on the Camino is one filled with pain and monotony and long days and short nights. And yet it is made beautiful by who it is also filled with: people who make those days fuller and that dullness shine colorfully and who take care of “their own.”

And everybody seems fall under that category.

So it is that I was left asking the very same question that everyone faced with the prospect of going home and back to “real life” in a few days was asking.

Why can’t it be like the Camino?

I do not think that I am going to write much more about this, or even begin to attempt an answer.

That isn’t the point.

This is: Make it so.

Below are a few pictures of some of my friends on the Camino, hanging out. The list isn’t comprehensive, and there’s no way that you’ll ever be able to know all of their wonderful stories or see the ways that they’ve been written into my life. But they’ve done a fair job of keeping me alive these last 8 days, and I hope that in all of my rambling and stumbling along the path with them they’ve gotten the message clearly enough that I really do care about them. And that I long for the same thing in the real world.

Pilgrim friends of Drew and Ryan. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

Pilgrim friend of Drew and Ryan. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

Pilgrim friends of Drew and Ryan. Photo by Andrew Nicodem.

One last thought I had: I think God is asking the same question that my friend Michelle asked.

Why don’t people live in such generous community, constantly giving what little they have to those with less, continuously encouraging a pretty worn-out and ragged band of pilgrims on life’s road?

I think this meandering path across northern Spain filled with tired and searching people might be his little way of reminding us that it was his idea in the first place, this whole loving each other thing.

And a kick in the pants to get off our soapboxes and start living as if the real world were the Camino.

-Drew

Click here to see more Camino pictures from Drew.